Ahana's Poetry
by Ahana and Hikari
Summary: Just a few poems I threw together
1. Backwards

_**I bent over backwards for you**_

_**I told you everything you desired**_

_**I held you up and**_

_**And I pushed you forwards**_

_**You left me behind'**_

_**And I'm stuck in this past memory**_

_**I dream at night**_

_**I scream in the day**_

_**I hold these pieces of heart together**_

_**And smile like I'm fine**_

_**You never knew**_

_**I never said a word**_

_**Too happy with how things are**_

_**You never knew**_

_**That that's what you did to me**_

_**You never heard me whispering secrets**_

_**You never saw me frowning when you smiled**_

_**You never thought of me like that**_

_**I guess I'm too good an actress**_

_**That you think it'd never pop up in my head**_

_**Every day it's all I think of**_

_**I can only curl up in a ball**_

_**And pretend I'm gone**_

_**Pretend**_

_**Pretend**_

_**Pretend**_

_**I'm not dead**_

_**I do this every day**_

_**I've done this every day**_

_**I've whispered every moment**_

_**Frowned at every smile**_

_**Sighed at every laugh**_

_**Anger**_

_**Anger**_

_**Anger**_

_**Anger at what I'm not**_

_**Closing my eyes is the only way**_

_**I keep it all closed inside**_

_**Release would be so easy**_

_**I keep it secret just for you**_

_**I'm too much a scardy-cat**_

_**Too much a little girl**_

_**Too stupid to see past it all**_

_**It's like a poison I'm drinking**_

_**Drinking it all up in moments**_

_**And I only want more**_

_**Poison me more**_

_**Poison me till I die**_

_**Slip between the cracks**_

_**Past all defenses**_

_**Poison me more**_

_**Break my heart**_

_**Make it shatter**_

_**Listen to it crash**_

_**Can you hear the shallow beating?**_

_**I highly doubt you can**_

_**You'd turn away from me**_

_**And you're going to Slip**_

_**Through this weakening grasp**_

_**I just want to pretend**_

_**Pretend**_

_**Pretend'**_

_**Pretend**_

_**Pretend**_

_**That I'm yours always and forever**_

_**Pretend**_

_**That you know everything**_

_**Pretend**_

_**Pretend**_

_**I wish you'd just tell me**_

_**"Manda stop pretending"**_

_**"Manda, it's all over"**_

_**"Manda I hate you"**_

_**Let me sigh in relief**_

_**At your disapproval**_

_**Let me sigh**_

_**With pure heartbroken bliss**_

_**"Manda I love you"**_

_**And let me pretend to hear this lie**_


	2. The Problems

_**WTF is my problem?**_

_**I gave up on one after**_

_**Years of adoration**_

_**Of years of fighting**_

_**Of years of torment!**_

_**I gave up and**_

_**Locked myself away**_

_**I decided never to try this again**_

_**But I let someone else in**_

_**What happens next?**_

_**It started off total happiness**_

_**Never had a care**_

_**Couldn't care if he knew**_

_**Didn't care if it was all the same**_

_**Too happy being friends**_

_**I never gave it any thought**_

_**This was my mistake**_

_**The rumors came pouring in**_

_**I heard it from the best friend**_

_**I ignored and ignored**_

_**Too blinded it seems**_

_**That the same thing as before**_

_**Had been happening**_

_**He's just like you!**_

_**It won't ever change.**_

_**You seem to be the same**_

_**As any other boy**_

_**It's a fate I just can't**_

_**That I just can't escape**_

_**I still have these cages**_

_**And locks are surrounding**_

_**But I thought I'd stolen the key**_

_**What did I unlock?**_

_**A door meant to remain shut?**_

_**"Red Sky Warning!"**_

_**I simply ignore that screaming**_

_**That's slowly being drowned out**_

_**By the screaming in my head**_

_**Remembering that what this song says**_

_**Is like torture in its own**_

_**That it seems to reflect my heart**_

_**Reflect my future**_

_**In a pool of words**_

_**That no person knows**_

_**My own future was drawn out by his hands**_

_**And I keep trying to break free**_

_**And I turn into what he wants**_

_**Only by accident can I**_

_**Please him the way I can**_

_**I'm just falling deeper**_

_**Into my own damn grave**_

_**The damned plague that falls upon me**_

_**Is wrapping itself around my heart**_

_**The plague that I can only give a name**_

_**A name that cannot escape my tongue**_

_**As a girl under stars**_

_**I can only hear him**_

_**This plague that haunts me**_

_**Oh my god**_

_**I can't even hear his name**_

_**Where's this damned cupid?**_

_**Who shoots with his black arrows?**_

_**Not of happiness but arrows**_

_**Tipped in such blasphemous poison**_

_**I'll tear those wings from his back**_

_**If it means I'm cured**_


	3. Star

_**Make up more lies for me**_

_**Tell me what to do**_

_**And let me lose myself**_

_**Inside dreams so unreal**_

_**Comparison is useless**_

_**Against what you've done**_

_**Against my own reflection**_

_**More lies being told**_

_**And more water in my lungs**_

_**I guess that's my own revenge**_

_**Killing your precious toy**_

_**No more fun for this boy**_

_**Wake up from those dreams**_

_**Stop drinking my tears**_

_**I'll leave you to be alone**_

_**Have you seen this heart?**_

_**It would drive you crazy**_

_**To spend a day alone with me**_

_**Try the keys to my hearts door**_

_**I'm crying**_

_**Crying**_

_**Out loud tonight**_

_**Think what's happening**_

_**You can only imagine that**_

_**You can see what's inside**_

_**Give it up and give'**_

_**Up all your plans**_

_**I left you alone**_

_**Get a new doll**_

_**I'm no longer in this toyland**_

_**I'll gather up the stars**_

_**And go home**_

_**A fallen star so dim**_

_**Without you I guess**_

_**I guess my revenge**_

_**Could always be to shine bright**_

_**But I'll stay dull for you**_

_**All for you**_

_**I'll stay a fallen star**_

_**And I'll pretend I'm**_

_**Still your favorite doll**_


	4. My Chest

_You know what was inside_

_**Feelings unknown by any other**_

_**You know how I wanted to be**_

_**You knew everything about me!**_

_**But did it matter?**_

_**No of course not, I should have known**_

_**What it took to get me here**_

_**It's so stupid and sad**_

_**Tearing and crying**_

_**I should have slit my throat**_

_**Better yet I should've slit yours**_

_**But I couldn't see the obvious**_

_**Yet again I took the bait**_

_**I fell for these stupid tricks again**_

_**And now I want to be dead.**_

_**You're a monster**_

_**Praying on those like me**_

_**Well I hope you enjoyed the feast**_

_**Because I'm no longer me**_

_**What's inside this chest?**_

_**Nothing that you know**_

_**What's inside this head?**_

_**I'll never tell you again**_

_**What's inside this corpse?**_

_**Nothing you'll ever know**_


	5. Hypocrite

_**With eyes sewn shut**_

_**She takes out her heart**_

_**Bleeding veins of darkened blood**_

_**And lies spilled from cold lips**_

_**She looked up at a darkened sky**_

_**Pressed her face against the glass**_

_**Breathing shallow dreams**_

_**Watching in darker nights**_

_**Her prince forgot his princess**_

_**She only wanted one more night**_

_**Crying tears of empty words**_

_**Can she without eyes cry?**_

_**Her heart is throbbing painfully**_

_**Can she without a heart be heartbroken?**_


	6. Freedom

_**One night she snuck away**_

_**In gold and silver**_

_**Tears had flown down her cheeks**_

_**IN flesh bone and blood**_

_**She slipped a blade into her fingers**_

_**And bore her wrist to it**_

_**She sang her tune an angel's tune**_

_**And purged her darkest sin**_

_**Her darkest sin to love and burn**_

_**To keep in all the secrets**_

_**To keep in all her feelings**_

_**She opened her eyes**_

_**Cold and dark as before**_

_**She found her way home**_

_**In an angel's cave**_

_**She Slipped inside and**_

_**And she slipped into sleep**_

_**She flew away in her dreams**_

_**She found a place**_

_**Shrouded in black**_

_**Took her "friend"**_

_**And gave him her blood**_

_**A blade is a friend**_

_**Whom bleeds not**_

_**his very own blood**_

_**But lies to its friend**_

_**And gives them sincerity**_

_**Only to take away their freedom**_

_**And this is a sin'**_

_**She has given into freely**_

_**She bore her blood to him**_

_**And Sighed in release**_

_**He gave her hope**_

_**Only to take away her life**_


	7. Fragile Girl

_S _he tells herself she's weak

Whenever she feels like crying

She's never been very meek

As to making friends (or trying)

_S _he puts her story out for you to judge

She loses her mind and screams

In her future she is forced to trudge

No one understands her dreams

_C _ondemn her, she's just a fragile child

Tucked away in simple pleasures

A girl with a destroyed faint smile

Her hatred and insanity smothers

_S _he feels safe in her patchmade prison

Tangled in the straps of the straight jacket

Caught between her own lies and truth seeing eyes, dealy collision

Her sanity is lost, you'll never be able to track it

_S_ he's in her own dark asylum

Her insanty displayed in the crimson arm ink

Her heart was given to a deep corruption

She's screaming so loud she can't think

_S___he's nothing like you would think

A million shields bound to keep you out

Her armor's loose, hear the bones creak

So many chains she has forgotten about

_H___er mind is sloly falling apart

She smiles and runs around

She's only hearting her broken heart

Remembering to what she is bound

_C___rying through out the night

Lying through out the day

She gave up her loosing fight

And she looks for something to say

_S_he wrote this with her faith astray

Determined to never let you see this fragile girl

Don't ask who she is, she's lost the will to say

When I tore down this imaginary world


	8. Entwined In Lights

_**Entwined in lights**_

_**With ribbons and dresses**_

_**A little girl with memories**_

_**She tended to cry so much**_

_**Her eyes were flooded with hate**_

_**She was just a little liar**_

_**With fake smiles on her lips**_

_**She had no more controllers**_

_**And was no longer bruised with mental hits**_

_**But she still sat under her bed**_

_**And expressed her life with scars**_

_**With his voice stuck in her head**_

_**She spilled her heart to him**_

_**And let him be so kind**_

_**He let her forgive her sins**_

_**And gave her peace of mind**_

_**She opens her changing, hating eyes**_

_**And grabs hold perhaps too tightly?**_

_**And still, she finds it hard to cry**_

_**She's a weak, useless doll**_

_**A toy meant to be burned**_

_**And she keeps looking for someone to break her all**_

_**Someone who will break her this turn**_

_**And so he does**_

_**Little**_

_**By little**_

_**In a frightfully gruesome ordeal**_

_**He kills her with kindness**_

_**He kills her with pain**_

_**Another stupid girl**_

_**Who falls all over again**_

_**In hopes of her naiveté**_

_**Maybe this one will show her today?**_

_**That at least there's one man**_

_**That won't let her fall again?**_


	9. Demon Arms

_**N**_ever looking back to a demons arms

And holding all those regrets against him

He used his voice to deal so much harm

He used his hands to tempt her into sin

She never knew her place

Never knew her nightmares

And gave him a little taste

And gave him love to fulfill years

If lies could satisfy her

She would live for an eternity

If dreams could save her

He would have never left her hurting

_**C**_rying was her outlet

And scars upon her skin

And all her tears did she forget

Waiting for a timely end

He gave her all she desired

Gave her all she could hold

She saw him no more than a liar

And died with each one he told

She took the medicines to make her sleep

She never closed her eyes to dream

She feared of being in too deep

And she never wanted to wake and scream

_**F**_or one night she layed to rest

And sat inside her minds own darkness

She dreamed he would give her one last test

And she let herself seem so heartless

Forgot he cared, forgot he felt

Gave him lies and gave him hate

And cried inside and let herself melt


	10. Resurrection

I_ remember Very long ago_

_When I could not see the stars_

_Where if I were happy you'd never know_

_And I broke a couple hearts_

I_ remember when I needed safety_

_When I cried for silent help_

_I handled emotions devastatingly_

_And I laughed when my skin would melt_

I_remember when I was asked one day_

_"Manda, why are you crying?"_

_"Don't worry, I'm always okay"_

_No one could see I was always lying._

I_Went to school with a dark heart_

_I never enjoyed my life_

_But you saw me at day's start_

_And I guess you saw the strife_

I_remember when you gave me hugs_

_I remember when we laughed_

_I remember when you said it was me you loved_

_I knew it wouldn't last_

T_he later on I went_

_I saw a couple smiles_

_The more time we spent_

_Walking all those miles_

I_never thought I'd survive a month_

_I never had any clue_

_I'd ever smile as much_

_As I do each moment I spend with you_

I_Hope to remember_

_Every time I make a promise_

_Remember the third of this September_

_When the third month anniversary is._

I_will remember all the friends I meet_

_And hope we all can get along_

_And I'll listen quietly_

_Every time you play one of your songs_

I_guess it's all I have to say_

_Not much more I can share_

_But I like to remind__you__ every day_

_That I truly care._


End file.
